July 16, 2012 10:11 am
There seem to be countless studies and articles now that confirm the common sense of saving sex until marriage. Most of those who do, complete college and get jobs and have babies who have two parents who have made a lifetime commitment to each other. Which is good for EVERYONE!
Ms. Faulkner is married and living on two paychecks, while Ms. Schairer is raising her children by herself. That gives the Faulkner family a profound advantage in income and nurturing time, and makes their children statistically more likely to finish college, find good jobs and form stable marriages.
Ms. Faulkner goes home to a trim subdivision and weekends crowded with children’s events. Ms. Schairer’s rent consumes more than half her income, and she scrapes by on food stamps.
May 1, 2012 5:47 am
This woman thinks women have unrealistic views about men, themselves, and marriage. She seems to have stumbled upon some age old wisdom about marriage:
There’s also a very practical component to marriage, but people find talking about that to be antithetical to our notion of what “real” love is. They like to think about marriage as some kind of divine union without considering that it’s more like a contented partnership formed to run a very small, mundane nonprofit business. And while that may not sound super exciting, that aspect of it can actually be really, really nice. You have to be compatible with your partner on a practical level as well. Arranged marriages account for that. Many women in choice marriages go the altar not having fully considered the practical aspects.
April 15, 2012 5:05 pm
Cohabitation is bad preparation for marriage. It is always lovely to have the New York Times confirm what one has been saying for years:
Moving from dating to sleeping over to sleeping over a lot to cohabitation can be a gradual slope, one not marked by rings or ceremonies or sometimes even a conversation. Couples bypass talking about why they want to live together and what it will mean.
Sliding into cohabitation wouldn’t be a problem if sliding out were as easy. But it isn’t. Too often, young adults enter into what they imagine will be low-cost, low-risk living situations only to find themselves unable to get out months, even years, later. It’s like signing up for a credit card with 0 percent interest. At the end of 12 months when the interest goes up to 23 percent you feel stuck because your balance is too high to pay off. In fact, cohabitation can be exactly like that. In behavioral economics, it’s called consumer lock-in.
March 26, 2012 7:56 pm
March 15, 2012 6:21 pm
- Google “cohabitation” and “divorce”
- Statement by the Pennsylvania Bishops
- “Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the United States” by Matthew D. Bramlett, Ph.D. and William D. Mosher, Ph.D., Division of Vital Statistics (2002).
March 13, 2012 8:52 pm
- Aguilar, N. (1986). The new no-pill, no-risk birth control. New York: Macmillan.
- Couple to couple league (2005). Marital duration and natural family planning.
- Wilson, M. A. “The use of natural family planning versus the use of artificial birth control: Family, sexual and moral issues.” Catholic Social Science Review 7 (2002)., 1-20. Available online but difficult to locate.